It is different for others based on what they have gone through, I'm sure. But for me, it is the defeating thoughts that get me. We aren't supposed to be anxious about anything, and that is hard for me to wrestle with as someone who experienced trauma and now struggles with anxiety as a result. Am I failing for feeling? Do I lack trust? Well, I am sure I do sometimes. However, I don't know anyone who would choose to feel debilitated by anxiousness just for kicks. It is the opposite of fun. It's real and heavy and intense. It makes me contemplate scenarios and play out "what if's" to the point of ridiculousness.
There is no switch to flip. We have to go through the muck. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I have more compassion for others because of this crud. Judgment has left the building along with Elvis. It's just not worth it to focus on others' perceived shortcomings especially when I have no idea what their story is from the outside.
I don't want to be judged so I have no business doing that to someone else. They say not to judge someone's story by the chapter you walked in on. There is merit to that. It's only part of the narrative. I'm happy to know there is so much more to write for us.
If you have anxiety or know someone who does, just know they don't want attention. They want it to go away. But they don't want you to go away...at least not forever. Stick around and love them through it. It helps.