I'll be honest (because that's how I roll...) and say that right now, I'm struggling. I was sitting there in church yesterday as the pastor talked about "the journey" we're on as people and how that journey is part of the destination. And I started to get some tears in my eyes.
I'm tired. Tired of this part of the story. Limbo blows. In fact, I'm pretty sure that will be a chapter title in my future book. At the same time, there's life in the limbo. The truth is that I'm tired of being a single parent. I have help, and I'm very thankful for that (BEYOND thankful).
But sometimes this feels like a Lord of the Rings type journey where the end is so far away I start to think it doesn't exist. And I haven't even had second breakfast yet. This quest is just longer than I anticipated and I'm Gandalf standing in front of these men who make giant proclamations of love saying "you shall not pass!!!"
After work, I feel like I'm always playing catch-up as a mom. I try to cram in as much quality time as I can and then sort of feel like an adult once bedtime has happened. This is not meant to be a "woe is me" moment but just some truth nuggets. I love my time after work. I soak it up. And then I fall into bed. And then I don't sleep. Life is not magically fixed by having a partner-that much I know firsthand! But I am a bit worn down of being teased in these relationships where I get a glimpse of what it could be like to hang out when the kids are in bed and enjoy that friendship and connection.
It has yet to be the right fit for us. And that's ok. I am getting better at dating with each failed attempt. The hiccups of the first try became a step up in the next one. I have seen that I am actually able to trust people again. Everything (even the crash and burn) is a learning experience. And fellas, can I just put this out there? CALL. Do not text a grown woman a break-up. Call her. Or better yet, have a face-to-face conversation. Show some respect for the months' long commitment, time invested, and sacrifices made to spend time together and don't leave it up to your thumbs to end your relationship. It's juvenile and cowardly. Set yourself apart by being kinder than most and handle the end with as much warmth as you handled the beginning.
Back to my quest...where's that dang map?
I'm tired. Tired of this part of the story. Limbo blows. In fact, I'm pretty sure that will be a chapter title in my future book. At the same time, there's life in the limbo. The truth is that I'm tired of being a single parent. I have help, and I'm very thankful for that (BEYOND thankful).
But sometimes this feels like a Lord of the Rings type journey where the end is so far away I start to think it doesn't exist. And I haven't even had second breakfast yet. This quest is just longer than I anticipated and I'm Gandalf standing in front of these men who make giant proclamations of love saying "you shall not pass!!!"
After work, I feel like I'm always playing catch-up as a mom. I try to cram in as much quality time as I can and then sort of feel like an adult once bedtime has happened. This is not meant to be a "woe is me" moment but just some truth nuggets. I love my time after work. I soak it up. And then I fall into bed. And then I don't sleep. Life is not magically fixed by having a partner-that much I know firsthand! But I am a bit worn down of being teased in these relationships where I get a glimpse of what it could be like to hang out when the kids are in bed and enjoy that friendship and connection.
It has yet to be the right fit for us. And that's ok. I am getting better at dating with each failed attempt. The hiccups of the first try became a step up in the next one. I have seen that I am actually able to trust people again. Everything (even the crash and burn) is a learning experience. And fellas, can I just put this out there? CALL. Do not text a grown woman a break-up. Call her. Or better yet, have a face-to-face conversation. Show some respect for the months' long commitment, time invested, and sacrifices made to spend time together and don't leave it up to your thumbs to end your relationship. It's juvenile and cowardly. Set yourself apart by being kinder than most and handle the end with as much warmth as you handled the beginning.
Back to my quest...where's that dang map?