God knows how often I feel inadequate. Less than before, definitely, but these human tendencies crop up no matter how much healing I do. Something that has been a big part of my parenting since day 1 (or at least the day when my child could understand me well) is to admit when I have screwed up. I want my kiddo to know that it is ok to have remorse, ask for forgiveness, say you are sorry. And if I put myself in a lofty position where I appear above all that, will that instance to apologize mean as much? I really doubt it will.
Rigjt now, my struggle is balance. Or maybe that is a lifelong parenting struggle. All I can say is that I miss my child immensely when I am at work and try to pour myself into parenting when I get home. But sometimes (most of the time), I am tired. And I don't like how I feel when I know my child gets my leftovers instead of my all. It happens. Patience runs thin; discipline has to occur. I am the parent. In this case, the only parent, so there is no other bad guy. I'm good cop and bad cop all in one depending on the situation. I just need my child to know that when I'm spent and giving less than my best to the most important part of my life and I raise my voice unnecessarily, I will ask for forgiveness and say I was wrong. Because many times, I am. There's that pesky humanness again....
Rigjt now, my struggle is balance. Or maybe that is a lifelong parenting struggle. All I can say is that I miss my child immensely when I am at work and try to pour myself into parenting when I get home. But sometimes (most of the time), I am tired. And I don't like how I feel when I know my child gets my leftovers instead of my all. It happens. Patience runs thin; discipline has to occur. I am the parent. In this case, the only parent, so there is no other bad guy. I'm good cop and bad cop all in one depending on the situation. I just need my child to know that when I'm spent and giving less than my best to the most important part of my life and I raise my voice unnecessarily, I will ask for forgiveness and say I was wrong. Because many times, I am. There's that pesky humanness again....