He never wanted me to have them; he wanted them to go away. Rather than embracing them as part of the person he was in love with, he made me feel like they were my problem to get over so he didn't have to put up with them.
Now I have more scars, more fear. Created by his horrible treatment of me. More for someone else to deal with. But I have beauty and grace and forgiveness that I didn't have before. I stand now strong and confident in who I am.
Anything that happened in my childhood, adolescence or in my marriage is part of who I am. I embrace it, and I learn from it.