"Nothing changes if nothing changes" is the less eloquent way I always say this.
I spent months (if not years) trying to give him time to help our situation. Eventually he would get on board and carry some of the financial stuff, right? Someday he would realize being responsible wasn't boring but would actually make for a good future for our family...except he never did. Instead of him getting smacked with a bit of reality, I got smacked by him.
I wanted him to want to be a good husband and father. He didn't want to. He just wanted us there. For him. To serve. To make him look better to the outside world. To be a punching bag when he needed it.
Nothing was (and nothing has) changed for him except he lost control of me. His life is worse than ever through a series of bad choices the past decade +. And the only one who can make that better is him.
Everything has changed for me but it has not been without its pain to stretch and grow into the person I am meant to be. But now I can be proud of the example I am setting for our child. I never wanted to do this alone but honestly, I'm far from alone.