In my 20's when I dated, I was kind of picky. I would have said I was selective, but let's be honest...I broke up with a guy for a fairly silly reason just after college.
He didn't like the Beatles.
It's true. He preferred the Beach Boys. This was too much for me to handle. I grew up listening to the entire Beatles collection with my dad. I held them in high regard as some of the most pleasant memories of my childhood and adolescence. I took my boyfriend's lack of interest in their talent as a personal attack and felt defensive. Now granted, there is more to the story and that is not the sole reason we broke up. He was more smitten with me than I was with him. I tried to get there, but it just was not going to happen. We have all had that-whether we are the one who is gaga or our partner is, unrequited love is frustrating.
As I got older and possibly more desperate in my search of a mate, I let some things go on my unwritten list of requirements. This was a poor choice. I got sloppy, relaxed, and I ended up married to a creep. He bamboozled me about many aspects of who he was, but there were also red flags that I dismissed. Though I am not to blame for his future abuse of me, I now know that standards and boundaries are both healthy and necessary.
Should taste in music make or break a relationship? Well, probably not, but my counselor encouraged me to make a list of my non-negotiables, and that list makes me smile when I look at it, considering that potential person who may come into my life. Common interests is a big one! One of my silly requirements is that "he" like coffee. My ex only liked tea and put down coffee. I love coffee with a deep and pure love. So, the idea of sharing this love with my partner means something to me. It is ok to include seemingly small things like that on your list if they feel important to you.
Don't settle because you are worth it. You are worthy. And the Beatles are awesome.
He didn't like the Beatles.
It's true. He preferred the Beach Boys. This was too much for me to handle. I grew up listening to the entire Beatles collection with my dad. I held them in high regard as some of the most pleasant memories of my childhood and adolescence. I took my boyfriend's lack of interest in their talent as a personal attack and felt defensive. Now granted, there is more to the story and that is not the sole reason we broke up. He was more smitten with me than I was with him. I tried to get there, but it just was not going to happen. We have all had that-whether we are the one who is gaga or our partner is, unrequited love is frustrating.
As I got older and possibly more desperate in my search of a mate, I let some things go on my unwritten list of requirements. This was a poor choice. I got sloppy, relaxed, and I ended up married to a creep. He bamboozled me about many aspects of who he was, but there were also red flags that I dismissed. Though I am not to blame for his future abuse of me, I now know that standards and boundaries are both healthy and necessary.
Should taste in music make or break a relationship? Well, probably not, but my counselor encouraged me to make a list of my non-negotiables, and that list makes me smile when I look at it, considering that potential person who may come into my life. Common interests is a big one! One of my silly requirements is that "he" like coffee. My ex only liked tea and put down coffee. I love coffee with a deep and pure love. So, the idea of sharing this love with my partner means something to me. It is ok to include seemingly small things like that on your list if they feel important to you.
Don't settle because you are worth it. You are worthy. And the Beatles are awesome.