When I first left, there were small celebrations for seemingly simple things. Last week, it was the realization that I can in fact open a wine bottle quite well. He had me convinced I needed him to do it. And if I ever attempted it with him watching, I always got flustered under pressure and screwed it up. It is a tiny thing, but it means something.
I am enough. I'm capable and smart and qualified to live a good life. I am a good mom and friend and daughter and sister. Losing your focus and positive view of yourself is not fixed overnight by leaving. It has been a process-a sometimes very painful series of steps to get reacquainted with reality and not the person he painted me out to be.
Tonight I'm happy. Last night I wanted to throw things and cry a lot. That's ok. Life happens. Feelings ebb and flow. The main point is, I will get up tomorrow, have coffee, and face the week knowing this is a good life and that we are safe. That is an incredible gift.
I am enough. I'm capable and smart and qualified to live a good life. I am a good mom and friend and daughter and sister. Losing your focus and positive view of yourself is not fixed overnight by leaving. It has been a process-a sometimes very painful series of steps to get reacquainted with reality and not the person he painted me out to be.
Tonight I'm happy. Last night I wanted to throw things and cry a lot. That's ok. Life happens. Feelings ebb and flow. The main point is, I will get up tomorrow, have coffee, and face the week knowing this is a good life and that we are safe. That is an incredible gift.