Forgiveness is for you, not for them. Remember that.
I have had to think of him as pathetic but not as a victim. His family still blames every awful decision and behavior on a still undiagnosed mental illness. Without a diagnosis, he has to be held accountable for his actions. And even with a diagnosis there are still consequences.
He is not the victim. His child who gets no support is. His ex (that would be me) who is cleaning up all the debt and destruction he left behind is. He is not.
The hope in their words sometimes makes me sick because I want peace for us but if I were being honest, he should not have peace. Not for a long time. He has ruined people's lives and destroyed his own. And he has enjoyed that. He likes watching it all unfold and then blaming everyone else. He laughed while I cried. He mocked me and the noises my body involuntarily made when I was unable to weep any more and moved on to wailing. They are right-he is sick. But in a different way.
Forgive-I will. Forget-I wish.