I have never thought more about the beauty of wiping one's memory clean than I have this last two years as I heal. Each step forward, he throws a speed bump in my path. We are doing awesome, and though he doesn't know much about our life, it seems he knows that he has lost control. And that is enough fuel to motivate these futile efforts to ruin my day or make me feel guilty.
The odd part is, these tactics merely remind me that I made the right decision to move forward with a divorce and restraining order. It reassures me to know the law is on my side. His belief that the law does not apply to him solidifies my rights as the responsible parent. It all backfires. His intention is to derail me and cause emotional turmoil.
Well, your power is less and less each day, dude. I am almost at a year of no contact. If you have been in an abusive relationship, no contact is the only way to go if it is possible. Otherwise there will be a continual back and forth with cyclical reasoning and emotional and verbal abuse will continue. Cutting that tie changed my life forever. His voice was finally muted in my head. I found my voice again! What a beautiful reminder that I am still here and he did not destroy me!
Wiping him from my mind completely sounds amazing some days but I know we learn from each experience we go through.. I learned (and continue to learn through educating myself) what not to do in future relationships and signs to look for to avoid the controlling aspects of life with him. Life is good even on the harder days. The hard days are better than even the "good" days with him. Freedom. No contact. Eternal sunshine.